Facing fear in the wake of the Stockholm attack

On Friday, April 7th, 2017, Stockholm and Sweden suffered a terrorist attack. It was no surprise and not totally unexpected. However, when something so terrible happens, time stops for a while and fear and horror take hold of one.

Life was extinguished. Human life that was just at the beginning of it’s journey. People suffered grief and loss in a cruel and merciless way. My thoughts and light go to all the victims and their relatives.

I was teaching on that day and that coming weekend. My deepening course in the Old Town, just a stone’s throw away from Drottninggatan, had just begun.

As our Mysore class in the afternoon approached it’s end, something suddenly began to feel different. There was some worry and fear in the air and the students who finished earlier, came in and said something was happening in Stockholm. Something terrible.

During the break, the first message came from my god son: Stay home Mira! They are shooting at Fridhemsplan and Stureplan. One of my students got the next message: A bomb has exploded at Åhléns. Lots of people are dead. Snipers are everywhere.

What to do?

This was around half past four and our next class was about to start at four. We did not know what to do and the rumours just created more horror and fear. So many thoughts and feelings to meet. I wanted to care for my troubled students. They all called home and received calls. It turned out that all relatives and loved ones were safe.

Some of the students just wanted to go home to be with their families and some were crying and stayed in the yoga room with the phones on. For me their was no choice but to continue the course. The students kept their phones on and kept checking out what was happening. The fear lay like a big cloud over all of us in the room and it was probably one of the most difficult and toughest challenges I ever faced as a yoga teacher.

My intention as a teacher

My intention was to keep calm and let the power and the light of yoga penetrate the teaching, my interior and the students around me. To give up because of that pounding fear, was no alternative. Something we practice in yoga is to not respond to every incident or feeling that comes without foundation. For us, our inner journey is steady progress with whatever we are dealing with. In Patanjali Yoga Sutra chapter 1: 2 it says: “To be able to focus on an object without being disturbed by internal or external circumstances”

We do this without denying or pushing down the thoughts and feelings that are constantly in progress. But we try not to give them any attention and feed them.

Muladhara Chakra

The theme of the afternoon class was “The Human Subtle Energy System” which I gave an overview of. I then chose to lay the emphasis on our base and core, Muladhara Chakra, which stands for the quality of the earth: stability, foundation, anchorage, integrity, morality, truth, sincerity and trust.

It’s what we needed right then. And it’s what we need in this moment and every other day.

Guruji and 911

In the wake of 9-11 in New York 2001, I remember that Guruji taught and chose to continue his course. He taught in a New York City Fire Department t-shirt and his message was that everyone should continue practicing, ground themselves, breathe and not let fear or darkness take over.

Our guide towards light

The light found in yoga is so important to take in and continue cultivating. To continue practicing whatever happens is what characterises a yogi or yogini. We ground ourselves, we do what we need to on the yoga mat and in life to integrate stability and foundation. We practice and live, with pain, anxiety, broken hearts, joy, courage and love. We let our practice be our guide towards light and goodness in life. We trust in life and should care for and nourish goodness more then ever.

Shine a light in the dark

Guru means the one who emits light in the dark. To me, Guruji was a person who met me and my fear on the mat in different contexts. He was like a rock. Safe, strong and bright. His wisdom and knowledge was manifest in his teaching and it was a true blessing to be close to him,

I thought so much about him while I was teaching the course and felt his support. They were difficult days to teach on, but I was so grateful that I had the opportunity to share the tools of yoga and support those around me with the light of yoga.

Understanding and respect

Regarding those who chose to stay at home with their children and families, I have all understanding and respect. The practice of yoga is ongoing and finding the balance between ourselves and our closest is an important part of our internship. To bond and take care of our closest is part of the practice.

Getting home on Friday night was suddenly not to be taken for granted. Many had to walk for hours with the fear of repeat attacks. All of us made it home safely and met the following day in a deeper understanding of fear, darkness, courage and light. The weekend became strong and very intense experience.

We joined in our practice and the to..ols of yoga in a completely different way than I previously had ever experienced.